That makes me just like the other kids!

Our son, Michael, talks pretty much all day long...and i listen to him with great interest in his views on the world, his siblings and just life in general...
At school last week for the first time my son had to pull a card...which means he got reprimanded by his teacher for some type of misbehavior ie: talking, horsing around...When I picked him up at school he got into our car...i asked him about his day like i always do...on this day he said he had to pull a card...normally he would be very upset about this...but on this day he told me smiling and said "Mom, that makes me just like the other kids". I laughed and then got tears in my eyes...this made him feel like the other kids in a good way.

Just a note: He is in second grade at Melrose Elementary School. Melrose has gone out of their way to work with Michael both academically and socially. The principal, teachers and support staff are always looking for ways to understand him. On their own time...they read and research Aspergers and work together frequently discussing Michael and his needs. Their correspondence with us is tremendous and they are truly as happy as we are when he over comes a hurdle like this one. We shared this with his teachers at conferences in which they laughed and truly loved this story!

Sincerely,
Bob and Tracy Kruse

“All the Way Across to China”

My experience with Autism has taught me that figurative speech is very hard for Nicholas to understand. He doesn’t really follow things like “It’s raining cats and dogs”, or “I feel under the weather today”. He is a visual thinker, so he probably sees actual cats and dogs falling from the sky, or someone under a thunderstorm. For him, “It is really raining a lot today”, or “I am sick” would be better ways to express those situations.

My two “neurotypical” children, however, use figurative speech easily. My son Alec, 8, started a routine at bedtime in order to express “how much” he loves me. He would tell me, “I love you, Mom”, and I would tell him “I love you more!” and he and he would think about that, then say, “I love you this much” and stretch his arms out as far as they could go. Then I would stretch MY arms out, and say, “ I love you this much times 10”. One night Alec was having trouble finding an amount high enough, so he said, “Mom, you know how many stars there are in the sky? Well I love you all that much and then triple that.” Amazed by his ability to think in such terms, I laughed and said “Wow! Triple stars! I’m not sure I can beat that!” So ever since, Alec has said “I love you triple stars”. It is such a sweet thing to hear coming out of his mouth. I hope he never stops saying it.

Kaitlyn is younger but she is not one to be outdone. She watched all this and came up with her own cosmic measurement of love, and simply tells me “I love you outer space”. This also makes me laugh out loud and she likes to tell me this not just at bedtime, but often, which often draws quizzical expressions from people when they hear her say it.

Nick, however, has difficulty thinking in such a way. He would watch all of this from his bed, and mostly he would interject with reminders of things he wants. “Mom, you need to buy me a guitar”. “Mom, I want you to buy me a Cleveland Browns uniform”. “Mom, you need to get me a train and build a train track”. It was a continuation of the list of nearly a thousand things he recites to me all day, every day. And my response was always the same, “Ok, Nick, we will try to get the things you want the most. Goodnight, Nick.” To which he would just say “Goodnight”. “I love you, Nick”. “Love you too, Mom”. “How bout a good night kiss, Nick?” And of course he would give me a kiss. Then “How bout a hug, Nick?” Which was followed by a hug. Children with autism are often uncomfortable showing affection, and Nick is really no exception. He has his moments where he will spontaneously hug me, but they are usually at times when it is not expected, like when I am cooking dinner. He can surprise me with a hug which involves his whole body, and he literally climbs up my body with his arms anchored around my neck. Since he is nearly 5 feet tall it can be a painful experience. But his expressions of love are not taken for granted by me, and I will drop what I am doing and return his hug.

So these “figurative” expressions of how much love we have for each other went largely unnoticed by Nick, and he never offered up his own comparison. Until the other day. He surprised me! I was talking to him on the phone while I was away for a week on vacation and he was staying with his dad. We had a conversation which existed mostly of Nick telling me (again) what I needed to buy for him while I was away. Right at the end of the call, Nick said, “Bye, Mom, I love you all the way across to China”. I laughed out loud and said “Wow, Nick! All the way to China? That is a lot of love”. And I could tell by the tone of his voice that he was pleased.

Moments in time...that is one that will be forever frozen within me. Little snapshots of progress made for Nick in this journey of autism. It seems that recently I have been seeing more and more of them, which fills me with hope for his future. I recently read “Born on a Blue Day” by Daniel Tammet, an adult with Aspergers syndrome with savant abilities. The book was very uplifting to me, as it explained from real experience what growing up with autism is like for someone. They don’t feel as isolated as we fear. Social interactions with others are just something that really aren’t a need for them. And a lot of the things that make them different, their odd behaviors and obsessions, are the things that as an adult make them unique and sometimes help them fit in and function as an adult.
I don’t know if Nick will continue to use his descriptive term. But even if he doesn’t, and if his affection has to be prompted by reminders from me, that’s ok. I know he loves me. All the way across to China.

Kathy Wood

I had one of the those "moments" today

(Written, 02.08.08 in OASISTALK)

I never really forget that Joshua has autism...it's there everyday before us. This morning was a reminder as he and I were reading a book that he and his class made. They do this with papers they compile. It is rather fun and cute to read what they all come up with and think.
I remember Joshua and I sitting down and filling this paper out that was now housed with all the others in between the red cover. Of course today he expounded more about his story that was not on the paper...two months later.

As I sat their reading to him the thoughts of his classmates on how they would "Save Santa if he were stuck"... It hit me where he is...where his world of Autism sort of keeps him. How difficult it is for him to put down on paper, with his own hand, his incredible thoughts. How as he is speaking them and begins to write the first letter they often get lost in the "commotion" that surrounds him and his thoughts and words mingle in with the "chaos" he experiences and tries to "sift" through. How, only when he is in his moment, away from expectations and trying to make sense of this world, will he enter his and voice incredible stories....yet academically trying to bring that up is difficult. I witness daily this incredible potential that is all his own and that God has given to him personally and individually.
So, as I drive him to school, with tears I pray, asking God to break through and help unleash what He has given him.....and to give me the wisdom and understanding to "walk with him" and guide him.

Angel Thompson/Mother

A view in the Literal Life....and the confidence it brings.

My name is Tracey Reichard and I wanted to share a little about my daughter, Natalie. She was diagnosed with high functioning autism a few years ago. My Aunt (who is a multi-handicapped teacher), had always wondered if Nat (at a very young age) was Asperger's or high functioning. Well, anyways, I wanted to share a story about her that happened recently. As many of you already know, so many of our kids are extremely "black and white" in life. Natalie has always been a "by the book" girl. She is being brought up in a Christian home. We try to teach our kids about life the way Jesus would live. So anyways, she went to school last week and had to watch a movie in French class. The movie had subtitles and was rated PG-13. ( I had no idea she was watching a movie in class.) When class had finished for the day, she approached the teacher of the class. She said to her, "excuse me, I don't mean to be rude, but why are you allowing us to watch a movie with cuss words? She says, "I am a Christian and I don't like to be exposed to this kind of language." (by the way, the movie had the "F" word in it!) The teacher was a little distressed to say the least. She apologized for offending her and also called me. The school policy is being looked at now as well.

I just wanted to share this because of how proud I am of my daughter. As she grows each year I see a confidence that I didn’t even have in school. She stands up for what she believes in and she likes what she sees. I am thankful for my daughter and have grown to love her for who she is. (So I guess that means I have grown up, too!)

Tracey Reichard/Mother
Natalie Reichard/ Age 13